Suicidal Tendencies

Yeap, another emo style post where I rant and rave about how shit my life is and how much I will my self to die in stupid ways, best kind of rant ever.

xmas was lame as always, it'll never be the same with out my dad so I dont really bother wish such stupid lame holidays. My emotions are stupid and misleading and I generally wish life would hurry up and move as I'm still wanting to move on in life.

Well any way, off to do more retarded self hatey things.

Looking for the right one

Didnt really know what to put for a title so I just randomly put what ever came into my head...

Today I'll be writing about non other than my self and what I've been planning to do...

Well, looking for a job isn't going as well as I was hopping to seeing as every where I apply sends back "You need to have previous experience to work here" I ask my self "If no one is willing to accept some one with no exp how the hell are workers like me supposed to gain this needed experience?" So yeah I'm still trying hard to find a job so I can move to Swindon soon.

And for some reason lately I've been feeling rather off with my girlfriend, I have no idea why and its very upsetting for me as I don't want another Marie kinda thing like feeling trapped. It's true that you only love once and I'm almost certain what me and Raine have is love but then I question it when she was to be married this year with one of her ex's its not that I think she would cheat on me. I just feel that she wants me around to be nice to her and be more of a friend than any thing else. I am a complete mess once more and I'm really tired of having to pick my self up all over again even with a partner.

I just wish she'd be there for me a little when I need support like I do for her ya'know? Either way I feel very alone and unwanted even as I am in this relationship. Some times during a phone call she'l say "I do love you ya'know?" and that always hits it home that maybe she really does love me. But then I dono... I am so mixed up and unconfident in any thing and any one.

Well thats another random look into my rather lame life so yea...

How it went.

This is just an update post to confirm that I am actually moving in the new year to Swindon with my girlfriend. It'l be a new start and should do me the world of good to do so, my mum has taken it well and was not very supportive/nasty about it I just hope it hasen't upset her too much on the inside as there's nothing else I can do for her other than re-assure her that if things get too rough I can head home and stuff.

Thats all thats new on the battle front of my life, new post coming soon~

The last few days

Soon some time this month I will be moving to Swindon to create a new life for my self, some will be happy and others not so. I've been wanting to move for a long time, most people haven't ever really got to know me enough to see how un-happy I am in Norwich.

I feel a fresh start will do me the world of good and will help me move on in life, I do feel like I've been stuck in a continuous cycle for a long time now and as Emo Park say "Breaking The Habbit" and thats my reasoning for moving, It's not because I dislike how I am living at the moment. But I'm not exactly happy either, so I'm doing something about it and moving, also I'm moving to live with my girlfriend which I think is also fair, I love her to pieces and to have her crying because I have to go home each time I visit is simply not good enough for my standards. Of-course I will visit all my friends when I can and have them come visit me also.

So now I have to tell my mum who wont like it and call me the devil son because I dare to do what i want. I will move regardless of what she says. I won't be stuck in Norwich a day longer than I have to.

and thats my ranty side of things.

Now for the intermission... GO GET YOUR SELF SOME SNACKS!!
PERHAPS A CARBONATED SODA?

Any way here I go with whats coming up for me and junks.

So my epic adventure to Swindon begins with me narrowly making the last train there (thank god for epic sprinting legs of awesome) I make it to Swindon earlier than anticipated and had to wait for an hour before my queen appeared before me in a lovely Lolita dress and top, I was dragged to a random goth club, but unfortunately for me I was neither dressed or prepared for such an occasion and looked kinda dumb ass the whole time (when am I not though? xD)

The next day... Raine had work so I had to do my usual chill out thing in Asda It was cool, I watched the security guards throw out some chavy guys for being retards and junk the day passed quickly thankfully. Unfortunately poor Raine was sent home early because she was rather ill (Sick, although I think it was all the excitement of being with me again) she decided to become a member of block busters and we rented out some movies, 28 weeks later, The House Of The Dead and The Reaping though to be fair the only good movies we rented was The Reaping 28 weeks was a huge disappointment and really let the first movie down. House of the dead's DVD was too badly scratched and didnt play too well (it was pretty lame any way) Raine had also brought a couple of DVD's for her self they were Reeka and Pulse, these movies were awesome and really shit me up at points although both had rather lame endings.

Next day was a rather awesome, A couple of Raine's friends Ryan and Shaun came to pick us up and we all went to Bermingham Although when we got there we soon got bored as they decided to play games instead of chill with us, in the end we decided to head home and we watched a couple more of the movies Raine had.

Went into town the next day and Raine got some random Loli/goth clothes which were awesome and I managed to persuade her to buy this really awesome hat it really made the look I think ^_^ also got to talk to Mark (Raine's dad) and Bev (Raine's step mum) I think I left them with a good impression which meant alot to me seeing as I like to think I have good manners and stuffs.

I was supposed to go home on the Wednesday but I decided to enjoy my self and hang back an extra day I also did more chatting to Raine's dad Mark and he said that I could live with them for a while if I wanted to move to Swindon which is why my decision to move really hit home at last I can finally move on with life.

And what is now yesterday (1:23 as I write this part) With new hope and happiness in my heart I headed home to tell my mother what I was planning to pack and head back asap. For some reason it took me 7 hours to get home and when I actually made it home I was too tired for a confrontation with my mother so I'll be telling her later today I think. I know she wont like and will hate me for a long time but I gotta move on at some point.

Well here's hoping today goes well and my mum actually accepts my decision

Akantor the last wyvern

Formally known as Akamu or Bastidon this creature ended up being called Akantor for the Europian version of MH2. This creature was allegedly able to kill a player in one hit which turned out to be a whole lot of rubbish it DOES have such a move but its far too slow and leaving him very vulnerable to attacks while shooting his wind like breath of epic fail. The first few attempts with my good friend Dingo left us stumped on how to fell such a power house leaving us with only a hunger of want and revenge. Eventually with a little trial and error (and a whole lot of armour change and skill jewels) we managed to kick his ass and send him packing to hell.

Then today as I was chilling at a friends house I decided to do something I would not regret. With a little preparation and a whole lot of courage I decided to take on the Akantor my self and royally ended its horrible life. Breaking both its tusks and chopping its tail from its body it fell to the floor exhausted and defeated. I stood in triumph and a little shocked to have archived such a feat. I left for home once more and decided to hang my armor and swords up for a while. Its good to feel safe and for the rest of the hunters out there that still live in Pokke Village may their hunts go well and may they keep the town safe always and forever...

Any way real me post now once again I hope all is well with the few that read this and hope life is treating you well. Once again I am worried for my girlfriend as shes still not having a good go of things I hope she gets a new job soon as her currant one is really bringing her down, I worry that it's affecting me and her as a couple too she seems to have horrific mood swings. I also worry that I'm going to mess it all up some how and end up alone once more...

Any way phone call this Friday leaves me anxious and hopping for the best, I just dono what that is yet... till then this post is over...

Baiii ^_^

This will be an epic post and by epic I mean...

HOLY FREAKIN FOOZAMABOOBS EPIC!

I dono what actually makes this post epic I guess its just me posting due to boredum, either way I have epic tales from the land of Monster Hunter 2 regarding the epic take down of a Rajang and our horrible defeat from the claws of a G rank Shen Gao Ren, he managed to break our defences and lay waste to the town unfortunatly we now have to help repair the whole thing which will cost us alot of time effort and money. In other news I have aquired many new rare items such as Rathalos and Rathian plates along with Rubys and such this will help my cause for finding new and exciting weapons and armour.

And now for the real me post

Hello every one hope all is well with you.

Recently things haven't been so good. I am confused on the front of my girlfriend and my self we were planning to move together some where in swindon but she came out with a I don't think you should move and basicly "I'm going to move in with one of my X's." Although I trust her I fear I may probably lose her at this point... So it's not going very well for me at all, I am un sure weither I will go to her for xmas because of this... My mind is clouded with doubt and upsetness.

I hope to find my self with my old job soon or I will probably be royaly fricked and have to find some way to make money or something I refuse to sign on at this stage in my life.

Welps, I hope something good happens to me soon, I'm starting to loose my will once more and it even lead to me selfharming once again! my poor arm will bleed and pain me once more probably over xmas, yay for long sleeve shirts and junks is all I can say.

Any way. Another fun filled post full of emo-y goodness.

Till next time viewers...

Suddenly... POST!

ZOMFG a Post xD

Randomly posting a blog at 12:18 am can be fun and junks

How are you my loyal peons?

This post is pointless and I'm glad to say I've taken at least a few moments of your life just by making you read it! Haha sucks to be you all! xP

Any way Enough of this random fo'shizel and junks. Real post coming soon (when I can be arsed)

An adventure

I thought I'd randomly post up my story from the legdendary game MonsterHunter. Staring alot of my friends and me as if were actually the people we play as. Here it is.

Chapter 1. Getting to "know" you
This story begins in kotoko village, A group of hunters that go by the name Kikojui, Dingo, Unagi and Jackus (XD) are now legends among any and all the monster hunters around the area. A 18 year old by the name of Emundis has been seeking the group in hopes of finding help on a very important mission against a new monster that has dared to rear his horrid face in the area.

A few days of traveling leaves Emundis almost giving up but as he sits to take a break he hears a shout in his direction.

"Get outta the way kid your gona get stomped!" Says a rather strange looking man dressed in what looks like rock armour. Another shout also heads towards him "dont just sit there! Move your ass kid!" This one was dressed in a mixture of rock and white horse looking armour. As Emundis looks up a Silver looking monster was heading my way. "GET DOWN KID!" The rocky armoured hunter said he pulls out a rather strange looking bow gun and fires a cluster shot at the Silver monster. It zips close past Emundis and hits the Silver monster square in the head, a triumphant shout is heard "BOYAH! RIGHT IN THE HEAD!" the gunner says The silver creature falls out of the sky and hits the ground with a mighty crash that shakes the earth it's self.

Emundis looks at the group as they run past he shouts "Who are you!?" A woman dressed also in rocky and horse like armor turns around and shouts back "Were legendary hunters! you'l have to keep up if you want to find out more!" Emundis looks confounded as the group disappear, "W...Wait!!" Emundis shouts and starts to run after the group. After a while he catches up, he stops and notices that the silver creature was fighting off the group and noticed another one he had amour unlike the others... Three of them were running up and striking with swords that seemed to summon thunder down from the heavens. the last one seemed to be standing on a ledge that shot out from a hill and was shooting balls of lightning at him. Emundis looked at the knife on his back and drew it he then slipped on his shield and started to make an approach at the fearsome silver beast, he gets with in striking range and with a mighty roar he brings the knife down right on the monsters head only to bounce of like a ball hitting the floor, the group look surprised and rather annoyed that some one else had decided to try and join in. The horse and rock armored man looks at Emundis"This ain't a kids game ya know!" he shouts angrily and gets hit by a fireball. That was it for the woman she ran in and with a mighty roar of power a trail of lightning trailing behind her sword she strikes the Silver monster so hard in the head that it breaks it's shell and cleaves it's head clean off.

The group run up to the silver creature and start to pull all manner of things off its body like the claws fangs and armored plates. After a few mins the group look up and notice Emundis looking at them. He gulps and makes a step forward. "Are you by chance the Legendary Kotoko warriors?" he asks looking rather scared. The strangely armored one steps forward sheathing his lance and speaks with a very clear and clam voice "That we are good sir what might your name be?" Emundis looks shocked by the responce and tells them his name, the armored man replies once more "I am Kikojui a Legendary lancer with the power to smite any and all monsters" The gunner takes a step forward and speaks "I'm Jackus the legendary gunner" The horse and stone armored man steps forward and speaks "I'm Dingo the Tail Slicer" The woman steps forward and speaks "I'm Unagi The Legendary Sword and Shield user" Emundis looks in awe at the group and suddenly brings him self back to his sences "Well you see there's this monster thats recently appeared... We dont have much information but... It's something thats not been seen before apparently. Maybe some one of your caliber might be able to take it out... The group look at eachother and then look back at Emundis, Kikojui folds his arms and speaks "Hmm... Well, we the Great Kotoko Warriors will look into this matter" Emundis looks supprised and almost close to tears "th... Thank you so much!" He crys as he shieths his knife and shield. A strange noise is heard from behind the group and jackus quickly turns to see a Massive Blue Kut-ku standing right in front of him "Holy god..!" Jack shouts as the kut-ku spins knocking jack flying "Stand back Emundis! We'l handle this little blighter!" Kikojui shouts as he turns around pulling his lance from his back. Unagi quickly jumps into position and jumps on top of the Kut-ku and starts to place large looking barrels around its neck using ropes, Dingo runs forward and brings his great sword down on the kut-ku's head making dents in it's beak and damaging some of its frills. Jackus comes to his sences and draws out his bow gun "Alright... NOW IM PISSED!" He shouts, he loads up a rather large looking ball into the chamber and locks it in place "Outta the way kiddies!" Jackus shouts and pulls the trigger the ball flys out and hits the kut-ku, nothing seems to happen for a little while then... All of a sudden a blitz of explosions is heard as the ball detonates sending more explosives out which detonates the barrels tied to the kut-ku's neck "take that mutha fuckaaa!" Jackus shouts in glee. Luckily the rest of the group had dived for cover and were well clear of the explosions, as the group get to their feet the after math of the explosions is plain to see the kut-ku's whole body was scortched and burnt. Realising it was getting killed rather easily the kut-ku trys to make an escape, limping as fast as it can the kut-ku moves into a wide open area and starts to try and gain momentum only be to be stopped by Unagi who had grabbed a flash bomb and landed it right between its eyes making the kut-ku fall back down to the earth. Kikojui makes a forward movement and plants his spear all the way from the kut-ku's head to its tail finishing the beast off in one final strike. The group like last time run over to the corpse and start to pull parts of it off, you could hear comments like "This would sell for LOADS!" and "Heh, stupid thing didnt stand a chance...". The group finish calving up the monster and look to Emundis once more "Sorry for that little interuption..." Kikojui says rather comicaly "erm... Don't worry about it?" Emundis replys rather awrkwardly, "I think we should head back to town and get ready for this new beast" Kikojui suggests "sounds like a plan" the group agrees to head back to town and get ready for the new creature.

Chapter 1- 2. If in doubt "BLOW IT UP!"

As the group arrive in town a bell is sounded as every one stops to look at the group as they step foot back into kotoko. Shouts of glee and praise are heard, the group walk slowly up to the guild hall, they push open the doors and the hunters inside look to see the group enter. Nods are passed between the hunters as they take a seat in the hall and order some good ol Kotoko ale. Jackus looks at the board and seems to get lost in the sea of papers asking for monsters to be taken down. Kikojui, unagi and Dingo clash pint mugs and glug down the ale. After a while Jackus takes a seat next to Emundis and pokes him in the arm "so Emundis... whats the pay like if we take out this monster?" Emundis looks slightly supprised by the sudden question but replys "Well... We dont have much money. Our town has been hit really hard, so for now all we physicaly have to offer is 1500zeny and a bunch dobascus herbs..." Jackus looks rather disapointed by the reply but smiles and says "Well I guess that can't be helped! Mind you... I do have a slight adiction to Dobascus herbs" Emundis smiles and Kikouji speaks "Looks like we should rest up for the rest of the day We'l head out tomorrow as soon as Unagi wakes up" the group looks at Unagi who is doubled over on the table. Emundis looks supprised "W..Wow..." Emundis stands and heads for the door "I'll see you all tomorrow!" He walks out and the rest of the group is left to do their own thing for the rest of the evening.

The next day...

Unagi wakes up first and heads over to Kikojui she pokes him in the gutt and jumps back before he can react, Kikojui swings his arms arround as if trying to swat a fly and suddenly wakes up. He scowels at Unagi for a moment then sits up "Good morning..." Unagi smiles and points towards Jackus and Dingo who had both fallen asleep at the table both doubled over on the bentches Kikojui lets out a quick smirk and proceeds to throw a place matt from the table at Jackus and dingo which bounces off jackus's head and lands a little bit away from Dingo it had no effect on the pair as they lay passed out on the table. Kikojui laughs and walks over to the pair and tips what's left of the pint mugs over them which in turn startles them as they drunkenly awaken.

As the group gear up for the long trip ahead Emundis is waiting at the exit of the town armed to the teeth with all kinds of potions rations and cooking equipment along with a strange looking BowGun that looked like the head of a Kut-ku. Jackus whistles and leans forward a little, just a small gun there eh? Jackus winks and slips both of his guns on his back one looked like a pale purple colour which he named the Sand Fall and the other looked like an antique rifle which he named the Island of the gods (because of the motive on the side of the rifle) They head out and make for the volcano region. The group look around the base camp and look up to see if there was any thing flying around. Kikojui looks into the next area and spots some herbivores munching around as they often did in that area he waves to the group signaling them to come over to him as they armed them selfs for what ever comes next.

They traverse for a while unhindered by any of the creatures lurking around the area, they come to a cave and head inside to see a dark black creature sleeping there. The group signal for a surrounding attack. As the group surrounds the creature, Jackus and Emundis on the small ledge aiming with their strongest guns poised at the head, Kikojui dingo and unagi at angles of each other all set up explosives and pitfall traps, Unagi picks a stone from the ground and throws it at the big black creature, startled by being woken so suddenly it sleepily staggers to its feet. Kikojui lets out a one word signal which was NAO!!! the gunners aim their shots to the barrels which blowup creating alot of smoke, the creature was caught in the blast. The smoke clears the creature obviously hurt from such a large ammount of force its body scortched and its chestplate, broken to peices and layed scattered on the floor. It quickly has look around to see how bad a suituation it was in. It lets out a monsterous roar and looks towards Kikojui and raises its head high in the air a strange light gathering in its mouth Jackus looks towards Kikojui and shouts "LOOK OUT!!" with lightning quick reflexes Kikojui jumps to the side as a huge stream of lava flies from the creatures mouth. As it slowly stops firing Unagi and Dingo run in slashing and hacking at the creature as best they could untill it sends them flying using a firey blast around its self, it looks to Emundis and Jackus on the ledge. It loweres it's head and starts to run towards the two on the ledge as it gets closer it suddenly falls into a pitfall trap that was cleverly placed by jackus he looks to Emundis "lets do this dude!!" they let rip with all the explosive shots they have landing them all on the creatures strugling head. Its head-plates scortch and break in areas as it finaly escapes the trap. as the group re-group the creature lets out a horrific roar and starts to breath flame from the mouth it looks towards Kikojui once more and raises its head like last time Dingo spotting this does a running dive towards Kikojui and pulls him to safety as the creature lets off another lava blast. Kikojui and Dingo rise to their feet and nod to each other they call the group to come to him. This is where the story gets a little hazy in my old memory but as I recall it Kikojui pulled out some parts and quickly modified his lance with a strange device which made the lance open and had what looked like a chamber of a bowgun, Kikojui slips some strange looking ammunition into the lance he stands firm and says cool and clamly "This is my new creation... THE GUN LANCE!" He readies himself for what came next. The creature on one side of the room the group on the other it raised its head and created a HUGE ammount of light. Kikojui closes his eyes and prayed for a moment "Oh power of protection... Have i ever needed your powers it would be now..." Kikojui quickly tells the group to get behind him and to brace themselfs for impact the creature lets out his lava blast and it hits Kikojui's shield dead on, the group hold together sliding back as the blast pushes them back against the wall. The group looked to be strugling to live at this point then out of no where Kikojui adjusts and points his lance strait into the lava and shouts "I WILL NOT FAIL!!" and starts to run through the lava stream, the rest of the group quickly break away from the lava and regroup to see what happens next, Kikojui pushes through to the head of the beast, for a second kikojui stops and looks at the beast square in the eyes and says triumphantly "ITS OVER!" he straitens up his new lance and lands it inside the mouth of the beast blood pours down the lance like a red river then he sets the lance to the floor and hits a button near the handle and a HUGE explosion is heard as the gunlance fires off the rounds he had placed inside it. The creatures head was incinerated almost instantly and its corpse fell to the floor with a floor shaking thud. Kikojui looks supprised yet reliefed to hear the body hit the floor he grins and puts his hands on his hips "well that worked out alot better than expected right?" he looks around to see every one circled around something on the floor he walks over and looks to see Jackus covered in lava remenents, his mouth opens in shock to see his battle brother fallen by the creature. Jackus looks up to the group "I guess you really pulled through for us huh?" Kikojui nods and says "That we did..." Jackus looks to the rest of the group "It was an honour to have fought by your sides may the good fortune continue to keep you safe..." His head drops to the side and he remains motionless... The grouphead back to the town using a cat kart to take Jackus's corpse back to the village for a proper send off. the group nod to each other and head off back to what they had started to search for... A creature that had never been seen before...

END OF PART 1

The very first one is the worst

Basicly this is a random blog thing so that I can randomly rant and rave when I want to so yea expect random rantings and such here along with important things that happen in my not so important life